Keep Holding On;
An Essay about Going Back to School
An Essay about Going Back to School
Cassie Seidel
English Class
9/15/10
Essay #1
It's that time of year again. School is here, and that means getting up early, doing hours of homework every night, and worst of all, being without a phone for more than 3 minutes. I don't mind all of these problems, because there is a song I listen to every time the going gets rough.
(TS)The song Keep Holding On by Avril Lavigne helps me make it through the school year. (SD) The lyrics,"'cause you know I'll make it through" helps me realize that school always comes too fast. (CM1) Unfortunately, the summer has been cut short, like getting the smallest piece of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving. (CM2) I'm happy to think, I'm not alone, because everyone goes back to school. (SD2) Many people say "there's nothing you can say, there's nothing you can do," when going back to school. (CM1) If you are someone who is disappointed about going back to school, and I am one of them, don't worry. (CM2) There is nothing we can do about it, so we must relax and keep focused. (SD3) Since "nothings [going] to change destiny", I know school will help me look forward to other activities in the future. (CM1) Without school, we wouldn't need breaks like summer. (CM2) We also wouldn't look forward to vacations, because if there was no school, every day would be like vacation. (CS) If you keep believing, I know we will be alright in school.
School is back, but I'm still standing, because his song helps me feel accomplished. For example, after a long night of studying i feel confident that i will get a good grade. This song has helped me throughout my years in school, and it still helps today.
Self Assessment
I sometimes have problems with writing commentary, and my main goal this year is to complete commentary successfully without copying the supporting detail. I feel that I am good at creating metaphors and similes successfully. I very easily mess up my punctuation, even after looking over the essay a million times. I believe that my grade is a B+/B because I easily make stupid mistakes even after checking my essay many times.
Cassie,
ReplyDeleteThis is a great essay and you did a good job proofreading. I do not really understand how the quote, “you're not alone,” relates to your CM1 where you talk about summer being cut short. Also, for the start of two sentences in a row, SD2 and CM1 of SD2, you say, “Many people…” and it sounds kind of awkward so you might want to rephrase it.
You did a good job though.
Cassie,
ReplyDeleteI really like the song you chose and your analogies," because the summer has been cut short, like getting the smallest piece of pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving". Brilliant! However, I felt that Keep Holding On was repeated a little too much. Maybe if you used another analogy for the CS it would be less repetitive. Also, I don't really understand your 3rd SD. Over all, this was a fantastic piece of writing and I think that you are a wonderful writer.