In Times of Need:
A Teenager’s Look on Problems in Life
Cassie Seidel
English Class
3/30/11
The world faces many problems. It has its up times, and its down times. One thing we must recognize though is that no matter how hard you try, someone will always be hurting. People have been hurting ever since the apple was bitten. It’s almost impossible to heal every broken heart, and looking at the problems in the world, it seems that the goal of peace might never be reached
(TS) Looking at the world, at this point in time, all of the teenagers have some problems they need to solve. Weather in Japan , America , or even Pine Point School , we all have issues that need to be resolved. (SD1) In Japan , the devastation of the tsunami, earthquake, and nuclear meltdown, is almost too great for a Japanese teenager to bear. (CM1) The nuclear meltdown caused all of their food to be radiated in some way, so Japanese teenagers are apprehensive about being able to eat. (CM2) The issue is not going to be resolved right away, but with hard work and determination, Japan, unlike other countries, will get back on it’s feet, and Japanese teenagers will live life fully again. (SD2) Unlike Japan , America ’s teenage drug problem is just getting worse. (CM1) It is extremely unfortunate that so many teenagers are turning to drugs for their situations. (CM2) I feel terrible that something so bad is going on in these kids’ lives that they have to turn to drugs. (SD3) Many kids at Pine Point also need help with problems. (CM1) There are a few people in the school that love to bully, except they pick on everyone. (CM2) They will listen to every word you say and if you say something wrong, you’re done for, they will tear you apart. (CM3) It makes people hurt, it makes me hurt, bulling is a serious situation that we need to deal with. (CS) There are many problems all around the world, and not all of them will be resolved, but we will keep trying.
(TS) Each individual person has a problem has a problem that they must face in their life, including me. I unfortunately have many. (SD1) I have many problems that involve skating. (CM1) On the weekend when other girls have sleepovers, I'm at the rink. (CM2) This makes it difficult for me to hang out with friends because I'm always practicing. (SD2) Also, I have a really tough time making new friends. (CM1) Not many people know me as a shy person around Pine Point, but when it comes to new people, I freeze up and can't say a word. (CM2) I am especially nervous about going to a new school and meeting new people. (CS) These problems, although few, are serious difficulties that I have in life.
There are many problems happening around the world, from Pine Point to Japan . We all must face these problems with courage and dignity, because if we don’t, these problems will keep coming back. If we face issues in life, instead of turning away, we might reach our goal and there will be peace around the world.
Self Assessment
One writing issue I am continuing to work on is setance fragments. I always have difficulties with sentance fragments. I also believe that my punctuation is improving. I am noticing also that I am using a few run on sentances, which makes it difficult. Finally I would give myself an A- for this essay. I worked really hard and it means something in my heart.
Hi Cassie,
ReplyDeleteThis was a great essay and I liked how you tied in the destructiion in Japan to the problems Pine Point teens face. One thing I noticed is that you used the wrong sort of whether in your first body paragraph. You said weather, like tornados and hurricanes. Other than that, good job!